Julie Anne Coulsey

This site is for my darling daughter Julie.

Just to let you all know the picture is acctually of her identicat twin Kyla. i dont haev any of
julie and this is what she would have looked like.

we all miss you so much. i have cre-ated this site to try and let other know what we went through
together baby.

i feel prgnant at 18 and found out 2 weeks before my 19th.

i had my forst scan at 8 weeks which showed that i had twins. you my darling and my darling Kyla who
is still with us today.

sadly though they had told me that i had lost you allready i was so sad i made myself sick.

i then went back at 12 weeks gone and they re-scaned me. i was watching that screen thinking please
have got it wrong. and to my amazement you was still there and you had grown. i was happy until they
said thats not possible.

they then told me that you didnt have a heart beat at all. you had passed allready but was still
growing.

i then found out i had a condition called TRAPS which means Twin Reveresed Artierial Perfusion
Sequance (it can be googled but be carefull what you can find can be very very disturbing) this
condition happens 1 in 35,000 pregnancies and only happens in identical twins or more.

i was so heart broken. i just cried and cried

so i carried you both because if they would have taken you away it would have hurt Kyla too.
you continued to grow alongside Kyla. then you had a big growth spurt and ended up bigger than Kyla.
they all worried as Kylas little body had to work fo you both. her heart supplied you with the blood
she had just had.

i ended up in hospital with bad back pains and my abdomen was tight. they said a water infection had
sent me into back labour at 28 weeks theis was on xmas 2006. thye put me on anti-biotics. i then
went home on xmas day and spent the rest of the day with family.

at night i began to itch really really bad. i was making myself bleed. my mum. (your nanna) said its
not right so again i went to the hospital.

it turned out to be the anti-bs i was allergic to them. they had given me coliastasis.

i then went for a check up at 30 weeks to check on my liver. i was having little pairs sread out and
irregular so i though it was braxton hikks.

the Dr who saw me scaned me to see how Kyla was doing and She was fine. her weight had caught up to
yours by then. you were both the same size.

he told me i was having contractions and needed me to say in. i had allreaddy had the steroids last
time so i couldent have them again.

i had been ruched up to the delivery suite. stripped off of all my clothes and a hospital gown put
on. and yes it was one with the big gaping strip down the back that shows your backside to the
world.

i was put on a monitor to measur the contractions. they were still irregular. i spent the whole
night in that room apart from toilet breaks.

i woke in the morning after this really bad pain and needed to be sick so i dashed off to the toilet
and threw up in the toilet. as i was doing that i felt this little pop then a gush. i was so
emmbarrased i thought i had wet myself but it was my waters breaking at 30 weeks and 4 days.

within 2 hours you big sister Kyla was born screaming into the world. she was so small and fridgile
they had to take her away to help her survive. they then geve me an epidural to give birth to you my
darling. i then had you at 1.18PM i couldent bring myself to see you daling. you had been an angel
for 22 weeks with me. i just wanted to remeber you looking exactly like your big sis. your nanna had
to register you too as i had to be in hospital for a week because i was weak. i requested that you
be cremated. it breaks my heart now but i couldent even come toyour funeral. i feel so guilty for
it.. im so so sorry baby.

Kyla misses you hun. shes such a sweet little girl and im sure you two would have been so
mischevious together lol.

Kyla is still very poorly though darling. she has alot of problems but dont worry we are coping just
fine.

i hope your having so much fun playing with all the other angels i really do and i hope you keep on
watching us from up there.

if only id get to meet you just once i could see your beautiful face my darling.

i love you so much.

love mummy
(Jackie)
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i carried my angel for 22 weeks. if anyone else has been through this please dont feel alone.
i have felt so alone for the past 2 years as i am yet to speak to another person who suffered this
evil condition.

thanx all for taking the time to read this.

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