| Location | Scunthorpe |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 05/01/2007 |
| Date of Death | 05/01/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,933 since 15/09/2008 |
| Creator |
This site is for my darling daughter Julie.
Just to let you all know the picture is acctually of her identicat twin Kyla. i dont haev any of
julie and this is what she would have looked like.
we all miss you so much. i have cre-ated this site to try and let other know what we went through
together baby.
i feel prgnant at 18 and found out 2 weeks before my 19th.
i had my forst scan at 8 weeks which showed that i had twins. you my darling and my darling Kyla who
is still with us today.
sadly though they had told me that i had lost you allready i was so sad i made myself sick.
i then went back at 12 weeks gone and they re-scaned me. i was watching that screen thinking please
have got it wrong. and to my amazement you was still there and you had grown. i was happy until they
said thats not possible.
they then told me that you didnt have a heart beat at all. you had passed allready but was still
growing.
i then found out i had a condition called TRAPS which means Twin Reveresed Artierial Perfusion
Sequance (it can be googled but be carefull what you can find can be very very disturbing) this
condition happens 1 in 35,000 pregnancies and only happens in identical twins or more.
i was so heart broken. i just cried and cried
so i carried you both because if they would have taken you away it would have hurt Kyla too.
you continued to grow alongside Kyla. then you had a big growth spurt and ended up bigger than Kyla.
they all worried as Kylas little body had to work fo you both. her heart supplied you with the blood
she had just had.
i ended up in hospital with bad back pains and my abdomen was tight. they said a water infection had
sent me into back labour at 28 weeks theis was on xmas 2006. thye put me on anti-biotics. i then
went home on xmas day and spent the rest of the day with family.
at night i began to itch really really bad. i was making myself bleed. my mum. (your nanna) said its
not right so again i went to the hospital.
it turned out to be the anti-bs i was allergic to them. they had given me coliastasis.
i then went for a check up at 30 weeks to check on my liver. i was having little pairs sread out and
irregular so i though it was braxton hikks.
the Dr who saw me scaned me to see how Kyla was doing and She was fine. her weight had caught up to
yours by then. you were both the same size.
he told me i was having contractions and needed me to say in. i had allreaddy had the steroids last
time so i couldent have them again.
i had been ruched up to the delivery suite. stripped off of all my clothes and a hospital gown put
on. and yes it was one with the big gaping strip down the back that shows your backside to the
world.
i was put on a monitor to measur the contractions. they were still irregular. i spent the whole
night in that room apart from toilet breaks.
i woke in the morning after this really bad pain and needed to be sick so i dashed off to the toilet
and threw up in the toilet. as i was doing that i felt this little pop then a gush. i was so
emmbarrased i thought i had wet myself but it was my waters breaking at 30 weeks and 4 days.
within 2 hours you big sister Kyla was born screaming into the world. she was so small and fridgile
they had to take her away to help her survive. they then geve me an epidural to give birth to you my
darling. i then had you at 1.18PM i couldent bring myself to see you daling. you had been an angel
for 22 weeks with me. i just wanted to remeber you looking exactly like your big sis. your nanna had
to register you too as i had to be in hospital for a week because i was weak. i requested that you
be cremated. it breaks my heart now but i couldent even come toyour funeral. i feel so guilty for
it.. im so so sorry baby.
Kyla misses you hun. shes such a sweet little girl and im sure you two would have been so
mischevious together lol.
Kyla is still very poorly though darling. she has alot of problems but dont worry we are coping just
fine.
i hope your having so much fun playing with all the other angels i really do and i hope you keep on
watching us from up there.
if only id get to meet you just once i could see your beautiful face my darling.
i love you so much.
love mummy
(Jackie)
XXXXXXXX
i carried my angel for 22 weeks. if anyone else has been through this please dont feel alone.
i have felt so alone for the past 2 years as i am yet to speak to another person who suffered this
evil condition.
thanx all for taking the time to read this.
XXXXXXXXXX
Today I stumbled and once again
Was lifted up by an unseen hand
What comfort and joy that knowledge brings.
For I hear the whispers of Angels wings...
The guardian Angels that God sends to all
To bear us up when we stumble and fall.
Trust Him, my friend, and often you'll hear
The whisper of Angels wings hovering near...
Cuddled in Heaven...
.
We had so little time to share,
Too soon, I had to leave.
I know how much you love me,
I know how much you grieve.
I know how sharp your pain is,
I feel the aching in your hearts.
My life so quickly ended
Before it barely had a start.
I remember how you held me,
And kissed my face and hands,
You cuddled me so gently;
But, God had other plans.
I was your perfect angel,
From God you knew I came,
Suddenly He called me home again,
And now God holds my hand.
I know you’ll always miss me,
I understand your pain is hard to bear.
Just remember that I’m in Heaven
And we’ll see each other there.
So smile when you think of me
And wipe away all of your tears
I’m cuddled now in Heaven
By our family members here.
I’m waiting here in Heaven,
And on the day we meet again.
I’ll be the first to smile and greet you,
When God calls you home to him...
c Charlotte Collins
Simply put ...I really miss you
I've continued to ask why
Life took this dreadful wrong turn...
Now I often sit and cry
Simply put ...my heart is broken
Most people have no clue
Unless they live this heartache...
They don't know what I've lived through
Simply put... I long to hug you
Give you a gentle warm embrace
Often spend each day just wishing....
This truth could somehow be erased
Simply put... I know I'm grieving
Won't get better and throughout the years
I have learned some coping methods...
To accept this new frontier
Simply put... I'm good at masking
Denying what I feel
For I know deep down inside me...
I will never truly heal
Simply put...I really miss you
No one knows the pain I bear
Simply put... there is no reason
Losing you was just not fair...
And --------- ♥♥♥ --------- ♥♥♥
It ---------- ♥ ------ ♥ ----- ♥ ------ ♥
Hurts ------ ♥ -------- ♥ -------- ♥
With ---------- ♥ --------------- ♥
Every ------------ ♥ -------- ♥
Heartbeat -------- ♥ ---- ♥
-------------------- ----- ♥
I NEED A HUG.........
❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿
......... (...(`.-``'��-.�)...)..........
..............)......--.......--....(...........
............./......(o..._...o)....\..........
.............\.........(..0..)......./..........
..........__.`.-._...'='.._.-.�.__.......
......./.......'#.'#.,.--.,.#'.#.'....\....
.......\__))..........'#'......... ((__/.....
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❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ ❤✿ LOTS OF LOVE JUDE.XX
sweet dreams x
Just * X . ♥
X . . * ♥ . * ♥. * X
♥ X*Sprinkling* . ♥
X. . * ♥ . X * . * ♥.
♥.X *Your * Page X* ♥
X . ♥ * . ♥ * . * X.*
♥.* X With * Some.* X. ♥
. * ♥ * * X . *+ * X ♥ X
X ♥ *. Love ♥. * X ♥
One night I cried to Jesus as I sat beneath the trees.
I looked into the open sky and hoped He'd answer me.
I'm lost dear Lord. I've travelled far but still I seem to roam.
Please light the way and lead me, Lord. I need to get back home.
I told him of my burdens and of the sadness in my heart -
That from His gracious love I'd never felt so far apart.
Why did you take my child, Lord? I cannot understand!
No longer can I touch her face or hold her tiny hand.
I'm angry, Lord. I'm missing her. I'm drowning in my sorrow.
Please help to heal my yesterdays and face each new tomorrow.
It was then I heard her gentle voice and I felt her presence near.
How I wanted so to hold her as I cried another tear.
She said, "Mummy, "I 'm an angel now, my spirit will be free.
I'm an angel now in Heaven, so please don't cry for me.
I was chosen by our Lord above and now I'm in his care.
When you need me, look inside your heart. I promise to be there.
No one can ever take away our bond with one- another
For I'll always be your precious child, as you will be my mother.
So if you cannot find your way or the road to home seems so far,
Just look up into the Heavens and I'll be your guiding star..."
11th October 2008
GOODNIGHT SWEETHEART
A bright star for God's collection
A lovely angel of pure perfection
A life on earth not meant to be
No tears or smiles for all to see
Hearts are broken, split in two
But angel we will always love you~
Now the day has ended angel
And I have to say 'Goodnight,
it's time for you to rest your wings'.
Sweet dreams.
God bless.
Sleep tight.
Love Jude.x
██ 20% *___*
███ 40% *___*
████ 60% *___*
█████ 80% *___*
██████ 100% *__ * ANGEL
Thinking of you always ~~ Love Shirley...x♥x
A MOTHERS DREAM
I carried you so lovingly,
Within my gentle womb...
And little did I realise,
Your life would end too soon.
I never got the chance to say
I love you, little one...
Before I held you in my arms,
Your life on earth was done.
The grief is indescribable,
To lose a child this way...
All the many hopes and dreams,
Just vanished on that day.
I know I'll see the sun shine bright
Upon my baby's face...
When I finally get to heaven,
All my pain will be erased.
We'll soar the skies together,
As angels two by two...
We'll have a sweet reunion
This mother's dream come true
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