| Location | Scunthorpe |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 05/01/2007 |
| Date of Death | 05/01/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,935 since 15/09/2008 |
| Creator |
This site is for my darling daughter Julie.
Just to let you all know the picture is acctually of her identicat twin Kyla. i dont haev any of
julie and this is what she would have looked like.
we all miss you so much. i have cre-ated this site to try and let other know what we went through
together baby.
i feel prgnant at 18 and found out 2 weeks before my 19th.
i had my forst scan at 8 weeks which showed that i had twins. you my darling and my darling Kyla who
is still with us today.
sadly though they had told me that i had lost you allready i was so sad i made myself sick.
i then went back at 12 weeks gone and they re-scaned me. i was watching that screen thinking please
have got it wrong. and to my amazement you was still there and you had grown. i was happy until they
said thats not possible.
they then told me that you didnt have a heart beat at all. you had passed allready but was still
growing.
i then found out i had a condition called TRAPS which means Twin Reveresed Artierial Perfusion
Sequance (it can be googled but be carefull what you can find can be very very disturbing) this
condition happens 1 in 35,000 pregnancies and only happens in identical twins or more.
i was so heart broken. i just cried and cried
so i carried you both because if they would have taken you away it would have hurt Kyla too.
you continued to grow alongside Kyla. then you had a big growth spurt and ended up bigger than Kyla.
they all worried as Kylas little body had to work fo you both. her heart supplied you with the blood
she had just had.
i ended up in hospital with bad back pains and my abdomen was tight. they said a water infection had
sent me into back labour at 28 weeks theis was on xmas 2006. thye put me on anti-biotics. i then
went home on xmas day and spent the rest of the day with family.
at night i began to itch really really bad. i was making myself bleed. my mum. (your nanna) said its
not right so again i went to the hospital.
it turned out to be the anti-bs i was allergic to them. they had given me coliastasis.
i then went for a check up at 30 weeks to check on my liver. i was having little pairs sread out and
irregular so i though it was braxton hikks.
the Dr who saw me scaned me to see how Kyla was doing and She was fine. her weight had caught up to
yours by then. you were both the same size.
he told me i was having contractions and needed me to say in. i had allreaddy had the steroids last
time so i couldent have them again.
i had been ruched up to the delivery suite. stripped off of all my clothes and a hospital gown put
on. and yes it was one with the big gaping strip down the back that shows your backside to the
world.
i was put on a monitor to measur the contractions. they were still irregular. i spent the whole
night in that room apart from toilet breaks.
i woke in the morning after this really bad pain and needed to be sick so i dashed off to the toilet
and threw up in the toilet. as i was doing that i felt this little pop then a gush. i was so
emmbarrased i thought i had wet myself but it was my waters breaking at 30 weeks and 4 days.
within 2 hours you big sister Kyla was born screaming into the world. she was so small and fridgile
they had to take her away to help her survive. they then geve me an epidural to give birth to you my
darling. i then had you at 1.18PM i couldent bring myself to see you daling. you had been an angel
for 22 weeks with me. i just wanted to remeber you looking exactly like your big sis. your nanna had
to register you too as i had to be in hospital for a week because i was weak. i requested that you
be cremated. it breaks my heart now but i couldent even come toyour funeral. i feel so guilty for
it.. im so so sorry baby.
Kyla misses you hun. shes such a sweet little girl and im sure you two would have been so
mischevious together lol.
Kyla is still very poorly though darling. she has alot of problems but dont worry we are coping just
fine.
i hope your having so much fun playing with all the other angels i really do and i hope you keep on
watching us from up there.
if only id get to meet you just once i could see your beautiful face my darling.
i love you so much.
love mummy
(Jackie)
XXXXXXXX
i carried my angel for 22 weeks. if anyone else has been through this please dont feel alone.
i have felt so alone for the past 2 years as i am yet to speak to another person who suffered this
evil condition.
thanx all for taking the time to read this.
XXXXXXXXXX
20TH JANUARY 2009
GOOD MORNING SWEET ANGEL.X
☆ LOVE TO YOU ☆
♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡
┊ ┊ ┊ ♥
┊ ┊ ♥
┊ ♥
♥
FROM JUDE.X
I Wish I Could See You One More Time
Come Walking Through My Door
But, I Know That Is Impossible
And I Will Hear Your Voice No More...
I Know That You Can Feel My Tears
And You Don’t Want Me To Cry
Yet, My Heart Is Truly Broken
Because Someone So Precious Had To Die...
I Pray That God Will Give Me Strength
And Somehow Get Me Through
As I Struggle With This Heartache
That Was Caused By Losing You...
When you feel you miss me most
As the years go drifting by
Each memory of me will prove to you
That love can never die...
That while I left you far too soon
I did not leave alone
For Jesus sent his angels
To gently take me home...
Take comfort when you think of me
Keep me alive in your heart
And with each precious memory
We will never be apart...
Everybody's rushing around
Full of festive cheer,
But we’re finding all we want to do
At Christmas, is come here...
To talk to you a little while-
And bring a flower or two,
We can't buy you a present,
So what else can we do?
Remember that we love you
We’re' still hurting with the pain,
We don’t think it will ever stop
Till we’re with you once again...
Dear Santa can you see me
With tears upon my face
A heart so badly broken
Missing her embrace
As I write this letter
To express my only wish
Dear Santa please remember
There's only one gift on my list
Her smile and her laughter
Her hugs and kisses too
Dear Santa I am pleading
To make my wish come true
I haven't been quite perfect
I've tried the best I can
But seeing you are Santa...
You might just change the plan
Each day I wake to sorrow
Pain that I can't flee
Dear Santa I am asking
Could you bring her back to me?
It's been so many years now...
Sometimes as if she was a dream
Dear Santa please consider...
changing this life theme
Dear Santa could you find it...
within your kind warm heart
To bring her home for Christmas...
so we are not apart?
SWEET DREAMS
… … … … … … .$
$ … … … … … $…$
$$… … … … $… … $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … $…$…$…$…$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … … … … … … $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … … … … … …$
$$$$$$$$$$$$… Merry… … …$
$$$$$$$$$$$… Christmas.…$
$$$$$$$$$$…..ANGEL..… …$
$$$$$$$$$$$… .....… …… $
$$$$$$$$$$$$… ......... …$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … … .... ……$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ … … … … … … $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … $…$…$…$… $
$$$$$…$… … … … … $
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$$$… … …$… … … $
$$… … … …$… … $
$… … … … …$… $
God sends His lovely angel tears
To us this time of year
They float and tumble through the air
And send out Christmas cheer.
Each flake He sends is special
From out of wintry skies
They paint a pretty picture
To soothe our weary eyes.
Like sparkling gems, they fill the sky
And quietly take up space
They seem to flow in harmony
Attired in angel lace.
At Christmas time when all is calm
We look to things above
For angel tears and Christmas
To fill our lives with love.
So if you get to feeling blue
And are plagued by worldly fears
Just look outside your window
God's shedding angel tears...
Author/Written By:
Marilyn Ferguson
c 2001
Little diamond BIG sparkle
You tried your best to survive your little body was too weak you tried to come to early to give your nanna a birthday surprise, but your great big heart was not strong enough for you to survive, but you left a a little diamond that sparkles in everything she does even when she cries. We all miss you julie every single day but we can never forget you when we look in gingers eyes.
nanny an grandad
We've shared our hearts, full of Holiday Cheer
and shopped for presents for loved ones this year
The house is dressed up with garland and lights
That sparkle and shine through the Holiday nights.
But even with all of this Holiday bliss
There's someone we lost that we terribly miss
And as this Christmas Day draws near
We wish with all of our hearts she was here.
She's living her life way up past the stars
Somewhere past Jupiter, Saturn and Mars
She's spending her Christmas in Heaven, you see
And last night as I slept, a dream came to me
She was standing before me, happy and well
She said to me "I have something to tell…
Heaven's more wonderous than you would believe
It's the greatest of gifts I could ever receive.
I'd like for you all to remember the good…
You know that I'd be there if only I could.
So don't feel so bad that I'm not there
There are so many memories you can share
As you gather together, I'm sure you'll find
The gifts deep within you that I left behind.
Each one is unique and wrapped brightly in love
They shine from your hearts as I shine from above..."
c Kris Smith
I dreamed last night of Heaven
And as I followed you there
I felt your presence, heard your heart,
I almost touched your hair...
I remember crying
Just because I missed you so
Though I was right behind you
I didn’t want you to go...
I begged for a reminder
To help me see your face
A thing to hold and touch
But it left an empty place...
I looked for you in everything
I asked for you by name
I know that you were with me there
I’ll never be the same...
I dreamed last night of Heaven
I ache for one more glimpse
Of the love I felt while near you
And the beautiful little heart I miss...
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